Anduril Blade of Kings wrote:
Step 1: Have a panic attack. Scream, run around, yank hair out etc. Most important step, be sure to do it GOOD
Step 2: Hypverventilate. Sit down on couch and regain breath. If necessary mug passing mail carrier for paper bag.
Step 3: Sit down and think, very, very, very, very, very, very carefully to yourself a year ago. Think of how much clumsier and more foolish you were then. Realize you may very well have not thought a year ago that underneath your second cousin's uncle's brother's nephew's great-grandfather's bed was a bad place to store your miniatures.
Step 4: On the same line of thought, realize that, a year ago, you may have very well thought it was great fun to torch your miniatures. You got mad at them, got a blowtorch and some lighter fluid, and recreated the first Nuclear missile test. You then proceeded to (legally) hijack a passerby's banana seat Harley motorbike and go flying down the highway, little pink and yellow streamers fluttering violently from the treadplate pattern rubber grips. You then collided at unnerving speed with a large, shiny 18-wheeler, went flying over the guardrail, and connected violently with a large and surprisingly secure lightpole. Falling to the ground you then proceeded to challenge the sidewalk to a headbutting contest, which you still consider yourself the winner of. The resultant lump resulted in memory loss, and here you are now a year later, trying to figure out what happened to your miniatures.
-Anduril, world reknowned consultant. Famous for his sharp look in a straightjacket.
This. Step 4 was epic.